


a summer's goodbye

by wreckedpetals (wreckedshoes)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, break - Freeform, markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:26:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreckedshoes/pseuds/wreckedpetals
Summary: mark and donghyuck's relationship was a lot of things, even before and after their break





	a summer's goodbye

“We’re on a break.”

The first time Donghyuck said the four words, Jaemin had stopped threading through Jeno’s brown locks to stare at him with wide and shocked eyes. He was sitting on Jeno’s lap and even his boyfriend stopped smiling his crescent-eyed grin to stare at Donghyuck.

They were lounging in the common room to study for finals with a bunch of snacks they had bought from the market, of course already knowing that none of them would get any of their work done. It was the end of the semester and the workload throughout the past few months had already pushed them into doing nothing but procrastinate.

Jaemin had brought up the topic about summer vacation and how he was urging Jeno to go on a beach getaway one of these days and then one thing led to another and Donghyuck was questioned about how he would be spending the vacation.

“What?” was Jaemin’s only response and Donghyuck shrugged lightly.

“Mark and I are on a break.” Donghyuck repeated his words but the shocked looks on his closest friends’ eyes stayed the same.

“Yeah,” Jeno said, “we heard you the first time but what do you mean you guys are on a break?”

Donghyuck didn’t even try to resist his eye roll as he elaborated his words for the third time. “It means Mark and I were together then we had a big argument, but neither of us want to break up, so now we’re on a break.” It was simple in his head, but the words still lack depth and a hint of sadness and regret that followed with it.

☼☼☼

“Hey.” Mark whipped his head around to see Donghyuck coming through their used to be shared apartment. There were two backpacks lounged in the middle of the living room and Donghyuck didn’t acknowledge asking. Mark didn’t own a lot of things in the first place anyway.

Mark stayed silent, only giving the younger a slight, awkward nod that Donghyuck dismissed. That was such a Mark thing to do, he was such an awkward kid when it came to uncomfortable situations as opposed to Donghyuck’s quick witted and fast responses. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” Donghyuck said.

“Came by to pick up some stuff.” Mark said as he grabbed the white hoodie from the couch as a confirmation. Donghyuck eyed the hoodie; it was his favorite one that he loved to steal from the older. Though perhaps it was for the best considering it utterly smells like sweat all the time from Mark’s post-workouts. “I didn’t think you would come back so soon.”

“Class ended early today.” Donghyuck said. Of course of all the times he had wished for class to end early, it had to be this day. He threw his keys onto the counter and shuffled across the room to turn on the air conditioner. It was hot as hell, he can’t fathom how Mark was not even sweating a beat.

He walked passed Mark and sat himself down on the couch, grabbing his phone along the way to check through his social media feeds. They were engulfed by silence with Mark packing and Donghyuck scrolling.

The silence was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. They didn’t want to talk to each other, but at the same time the presence of each other was eating both of them up. Memories from the other day still lingered in Donghyuck’s mind. There was no shouting, no screaming, no cussing, just a lot of talking, and a large amount of emptiness afterwards.

☽☽☽

“I don’t get it.” Chenle said, swirling the straw of his grape smoothie. “You and Mark were so cute together. What happened?”

Donghyuck took a sip of his cherry smoothie and took a moment to swallow before looking at the younger boy. “Sometimes things just don’t go the way you plan.” The impact of those words made Chenle’s eyes widen. Donghyuck felt guilty. Chenle was still so young and he and Jisung were in a great relationship. He didn’t want to shatter anything in the younger’s mind. “It’s all about commitment, Chenle.” Donghyuck added in his words. “What you and Jisung have is something Mark and I were lacking.”

There was a sudden gasp from Jeno and Jaemin and even Renjun stopped mid-bite with his waffle. “Hyuck, don’t tell me that Mark...” Jaemin drifted off his sentence but Donghyuck already caught his intention.

“No, no, not that,” Donghyuck said, swirling his smoothie again. “There was no cheating or anything. Mark didn’t cheat, I didn’t cheat, but commitment isn’t always about cheating.”

His friends stare at him with blank stares. They weren’t full of confusion but rather just wanting Donghyuck to elaborate more. Donghyuck sighed and dropped his straw down, letting it sink into the smoothie. “Jeno, let me ask you a question,” he began and Jeno sat straight up as if he had been called on by a professor. “When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing you do?”

Jeno, taken back by the random question at first, blinked and then pondered his thoughts. “I mean, I need to use the bathroom-“

Donghyuck stopped him right there. “Stop, I don’t mean that. I mean, you grab your phone first right?” Jeno nodded, still confused. Donghyuck hummed. “and what’s the first thing you do on your phone?” After a moment of silence, Donghyuck shifted his eyes at Jaemin and then back at Jeno, and then the boy got it.

“I text Jaemin first thing in the morning.”

And that, was the answer Donghyuck was looking for.

☼☼☼

Donghyuck met Mark during their first semester of university. They were both music majors, Mark was in music production, and Donghyuck was in vocal performance. However despite being in the same major, they had never came across the same classes together.

They weren’t supposed to meet but Donghyuck met Mark that one day when he walked into the left wing rooftop music room. The area had been longingly isolated from all the newer and nicer music rooms but Donghyuck preferred the peacefulness and homeliness of the rooftop. Besides, the other music rooms get filled up quite quickly and no one had ever thought about this rusty old room, until that day.

Mark was sitting at one of the old benches, cap on his head backwards, and a guitar in his hands. He was playing the instrument, one hand on the strings, and the other tugging Donghyuck’s heart. Their eyes met, they introduced each other, they talked, Mark continued to play his guitar, and that was the beginning.

“So like, um, what’s your number? Maybe we can like hang out sometime-that is, like if you want to, of course. Like, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to, like-“

“You say the word ‘like’ way too much, do you know that?”

☼☼☼

To say it was Donghyuck’s first relationship would be a lie, but it was the first of the most serious relationships he had ever been in. Dating Mark was something different. He learned Mark was from Canada, his favorite fruit was watermelon, his nose scrunched when he laughed, and his cheekbones heightened when he smiled. And he had an IQ of a puppy just learning how to walk. Dating Mark meant constantly finding his awkward and boyish personality endearing. Dating Mark meant daily, random quarrels about how to make patbingsu (Mark slices fruit with a goddamn pair of scissors for Christ’s sake) or how to fry a single egg for breakfast without it exploding in his face. How Mark survived on his own still baffled Donghyuck.

Their first kiss was at the rooftop music room. The place became their little own area where they would come up for lunch and talk about their day and sing together and whatnot. One day, Mark had asked Donghyuck to listen and critique a song he had been working on for his final music production project. Donghyuck listened to him play. He saw the change of mood on Mark’s face. The older was always serious when it came to music. He was a perfectionist, and Donghyuck loved that about him.

Mark’s song reminded him of summer.  But instead of the happy, hot, free feel of the season, it was more so soft and chill and bittersweet. “I like it.” Donghyuck commented and Mark’s lips curled into a smile. “It’s a little sad, almost like someone is longing over someone. Does it have a name?”

Mark shook his head. “I’m not creative with names as I am with music.”

Donghyuck chuckled. “Come on, what would you name this song?” He asked, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder as the latter thought to himself. He was staring up at nothing, a small habit.

Donghyuck had learned about the older. He looked like a idiot blanking out sometimes, but sometimes those blanks become genius songs.

“Watermelon Stripes.”

And sometimes those blanks were just plain stupid.

“Okay, no.”

Mark pouted. “Well, what would you name it?”

Donghyuck didn’t have to think. The words hit him like an arrow to his chest. “A Summer’s Goodbye.” The smile on Mark’s lips was something Donghyuck will always remember in his life. It was so pure and so endearing and so full of love that it made Donghyuck lean in to press his own lips against Mark’s for the first time.

☽☽☽

On their first anniversary, Mark took Donghyuck to Vancouver. It was the first time Donghyuck had really travelled out of South Korea and he was extremely excited. Mark had given him a tour of his hometown, (where he met with his family, in conclusion: they ended up loving Donghyuck of course) and the best places in Canada. And in the end, Mark took him to his favorite spot high up in the mountain woods during the sunset, and played his guitar the song of when they first met.

Everything was perfect. Even when Mark went on studying abroad for several months, or when he took a year off of school to go back to Canada for family reasons, it was difficult, but Donghyuck waited for him to come back. And he did, and Mark would hold him and kiss him and it almost felt like Mark had never left.

“Man, I missed you so much.” Mark said as they cuddled on Donghyuck’s couch. He buried his head into the younger’s neck, tired from the jetlag and Donghyuck smiled, brushing his hands through Mark’s black locks.

“Please tell me you bought gifts from Canada.” Donghyuck said. “Renjun and Jaemin keep asking me to tell you to buy gifts.”

Mark chuckled, shifting so he can look up at Donghyuck. “Of course I did.” He said and Donghyuck let out a sigh of relief. “I bought you a gift too.”

“But I didn’t want one?”

“Well, you got one.” Mark replied as he pressed his lips against Donghyuck’s pink ones and the latter smiled into the touch, letting Mark kiss him all over the place.

☼☼☼

“I’m mad at Mark again.” Donghyuck said to Jaemin.

“‘Mad at Mark for the millionth time.’” Jaemin scribbled down the words into his notes. “Okay so what’s the answer to number seven?”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Jaemin, I’m being serious here.”

“And I called you here for us to have a nice coffee and to study for this damn midterm, but looks like we’re not doing either of that.” Jaemin retaliated with a huff and Donghyuck huffed back.

There was a sigh of breath from Jeno at the side. He knew putting Donghyuck and Jaemin together in one place would lead to a lot of sass and yet here he was, watching these two huff into each other’s faces. “Guys, can we just study please?” He asked.

“No, stop,” Renjun interrupted the boy. “My phone is dead and I’m bored. So Hyuck, why are you mad at Mark?”

Donghyuck groaned. It had been five days since he ignored Mark's text (he was petty like that) and it had been two weeks since they last saw each other (therefore, one of the reasons why he was mad at Mark).

“Hyuck,” Jaemin called with such a firm tone that Donghyuck quite detested, but at the same appreciated. “We’ve been over this so many times already.” He said and Donghyuck understood.

Other than the fact that school took up his entire week, he worked part-time in a bar on the weekends with his dreaded night shifts (but hey, it was good pay). Meanwhile, Mark had an internship during the day shifts. It was fine in the beginning of the semester when they started dating, but gradually work got more and more and they spent less time with each other.

But that wasn’t what Donghyuck was upset about. It wasn’t about the time or the work.

☽☽☽

“Hey, how was your day?” Donghyuck asked through the phone. It was seven in the evening and he was getting ready for work, but he was hoping he’d get to speak with his boyfriend for at least a few minutes.

There was a yawn from Mark’s end. “ _Tiring_.” He said and Donghyuck chuckled as he looked at himself through the mirror.

“Do you have time to talk for a bit? I’m getting ready for work but I really wanted to hear you.” It had been two weeks since Mark had gone to Canada for his interview with a music company, and Donghyuck at least thought a phone call would do at the moment.

“ _Yeah_.” Was all Mark said.

Donghyuck paused for a moment. “Well, what did you do today? How was the interview?”

 _“It was fine. We discussed about the parameters that would benefit my side and that was about it.”_ There was another silence and Donghyuck was getting slightly uncomfortable. There were some sounds in the background and it was gradually getting loud.

“Are you watching a video right now?” Donghyuck asked quietly.

“ _Yeah_.”

Donghyuck hummed. “Well, is it alright if you can pause it? I really want to talk with you before I get to work.” No answer. Donghyuck called again. “Babe?”

There was a sigh from Mark. “ _Yeah_?”

“Mark, if you can’t talk right now then you don’t have to.” Donghyuck hoped that he didn’t sound too defensive, but truthfully he was getting upset. “Please go to bed if you’re tired.”

_“No, it’s fine, I’ll talk and watch at the same time. What do you want to talk about?”_

It was Donghyuck’s turn to sigh this time. “Mark, that’s not what I meant,” he tried to explaining, his voice hinting at annoyance. He checked the clock and he was running out of time. “Mark, I don’t have much time left, can you please pause your video so we can talk at least for a few minutes?” He didn’t meant to sound pissed, but sometimes he can’t control his own tone.

 _“Why are you getting so mad?”_ Mark gave the same tone back. _“I can talk and watch my video at the same time. I’m tired from work, Hyuck, just let me be. It’s not that big of a deal.”_

Except it was a big deal, and Donghyuck wasn’t mad, but he surely was now if Mark can even take the damn hint. He hated how Mark didn’t understand the difficulty of him being across the world. He hated how Mark didn’t feel as lonely as he was.

“You know what,” Donghyuck was hurrying to finish up his routine in the bathroom. “It’s fine, I’m late anyway. Bye.”

☼☼☼

“So he was watching a video while you were trying to talk with him?” Seungmin, Donghyuck’s coworker, asked as he wiped down the tables. Donghyuck sadly agreed. He had explained the whole ordeal to him as a rant, because he just really needed to let it out. He hated bottled up feelings.

Seungmin hummed. “Well that’s not really polite, especially as a boyfriend. He should be putting his attention on you. It was only for a few minutes, I’m pretty sure he could’ve paused whatever he was watching.”

“That’s what I’m saying.” Donghyuck chimed. “I haven’t seen him in like two weeks since he left so I wanted to at least call and have a small conversation. Like I’m pretty sure I’m not asking for much.” He didn’t want to be the dramatic boyfriend. He had seen those types and he didn’t like it, so he was trying so hard to make things work with Mark. But apparently it was only a one-sided job. Donghyuck sighed. “He always does this. And then he buys me things just to hope that I won’t be mad at him anymore.”

Seungmin raised a brow. “What’s wrong with him buying you things?”

“The apology gifts aren’t the issue.” Donghyuck said. “This isn’t the type of relationship that he can just buy me things when I’m upset and then hope that I’d get all happy again. That’s not how a relationship works.”

Seungmin frowned at Donghyuck’s sigh. Though, the boy did have a point. Just hearing him talk about his relationship even made Seungmin feel slightly irritated. “Is he an only child?” He asked and Donghyuck was confused at first but slowly nodded, wondering where this question would lead him. Seungmin hummed in response. “That’s probably it. Usually only child’s have trouble sharing or giving attention because they mostly grew up by themselves.”

Donghyuck took in the words. Seungmin was right, Mark never put all his attention onto Donghyuck. It had been like this this ever since they started dating, but it was really until recently that he had realized this dynamic.

The front door opened, bringing in a cold night breeze, and Donghyuck watched Seungmin brighten as his boyfriend walked towards him. “Hey,” Seungmin greeted the boy as he pulled the hood down and greeted Hyunjin with a kiss.

Donghyuck watched the scene from his spot. Hyunjin always came by when Seungmin’s shifts were over so they could walk home together.

“It’s late and I want to Seungmin to get home safe and sound,” was Hyunjin’s reasoning. It was cute and Donghyuck adored them so much.

It was only a total of two times in their relationship that Mark had picked up Donghyuck from work. Of course, Mark did live on the other side of the area, but at the same time Donghyuck wished his boyfriend would at least drop by to visit even for a few seconds like all the other boyfriends do. If Donghyuck can go all the way to Mark’s studio at hour away from campus, then surely his boyfriend could be able to come all the way to the bar for a few minutes.

_“I’m sorry, baby, can you wait fifteen more minutes? I’m almost done with this song.”_

Donghyuck frowned against his phone, “Yeah it’s fine, take your time.” He had been waiting for Mark to pick him up at the train station for about thirty minutes. It was late, two in the morning and he had just gotten out of work, and so Mark had promised that he’d pick him up when he arrived at the stop for their planned date night.

Donghyuck yawned. Fifteen minutes passed, still no Mark. He was getting tired and the food he prepared had long gone cold.

“You made him wait for two hours?” Johnny, Mark’s roommate, questioned in the middle of dipping his fries into the bbq sauce. Donghyuck remained unfazed, only stabbing his fry into the ketchup.

“He said he was okay with it.” Was Mark’s reply and even Johnny looked stomped at the younger. He gave Donghyuck an expression that was questioning Mark’s antics and the boy only returned a shrug that meant “see what I have to deal with?”

“Mark, I don’t think it’s good to make your boyfriend wait for two hours.”

Donghyuck silently scoffed. Finally, someone said it.

☽☽☽

“Mind telling me why Mark texted me at least three times asking me to ask you to stop being mad at him?” Jeno asked, slamming his phone down (gently) as an exaggeration of the messages.

Donghyuck sliced a piece of his chiffon cake with his fork. “Just ignore him.”

“He told me you’ve been ignoring him for four days now, Jesus, how petty can you be?”

Donghyuck didn’t understand why Jeno was getting agitated over this. Perhaps if Jaemin had done the same thing, he’d get upset too. But the difference was, Jaemin would never ignore or get upset with Jeno because there was absolutely no reason to.

“You’d be surprised.” Mark was lucky enough Donghyuck hadn’t even thought about breaking up with him. Jeno rolled his eyes and Donghyuck rolled a pair back.

“What are you mad at him for this time?” Chenle asked, voice full of concern and curiosity; bless Chenle, honestly he was too pure for this world.

Donghyuck closed his notebook even though his mind was full of everything but studying.  He brushed away his books and grabbed his coffee cup. There was a heart shaped design on it, probably from the leftover cups from Valentine’s last week. Valentine’s Day, a holiday Donghyuck would never thought he was able to dread.

“So what are your plans on Valentine’s Day?” Seungmin had asked a week before the holiday.

Donghyuck answered within a second without any thought. “I don’t know. I have nothing planned.”

Seungmin pauses from wiping the tables. “Nothing planned? Is Mark not taking you anywhere?” Donghyuck paused at the question. He hadn’t even thought about Mark, he just had a feeling he wouldn’t do anything on Valentine’s Day.

“Chenle, what did you on Valentine’s Day last week?”

“Huh?” Chenle sat back, confused. “Well, Jisung and I went on a picnic date at the park.”

“Did he prepare everything?”

“Um, yeah, everything but the food because you know, he sucks at making anything that’s edible.”

“Hey! I’m right here!” Jisung whined right next to his boyfriend, who let out a series of giggles. Donghyuck turned to Jeno and Jaemin next. They stared at him like twos deers caught in headlights.

“And what did you two do for Valentine’s Day?” He asked and Jaemin turned to look at his boyfriend.

“We went out for dinner.” Jaemin said, “at Fiore Restaurant.”

“Fiore?!” Renjun exclaimed and really no one could blame him because Fiore was one of the most booked restaurants, it’s almost impossible get a seat. “How on earth did you guys get there?”

“Did Jeno prepare it?” Donghyuck asked.

“Yeah,” Jaemin said, turning to smile lovingly at his boyfriend and Jeno only looked away but there was an obvious red blush on the spread of his cheeks. “He booked a reservation almost two months before.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Jeno said and Jaemin smiled softly, leaning in to press his lips against the older’s jawline, whispering something into his ears that made Jeno smile brightly. Donghyuck wanted to vomit at the scene, but at the same time he found them so endearing.

He would have hated to ruin the moment, but he had to. “You know how my Valentine’s Day went?” The others shook their heads. “I was at home because Mark and I didn’t make plans.”

Jaemin’s eyes widened. “You _what_ ? On _Valentine’s Day_?”

“On Valentine’s Day.” Donghyuck repeated.

If Jaemin wasn’t angry earlier, he was angry now. And it took a lot to get _Na Jaemin_ angry. Jeno proceeded to cover Chenle’s as Renjun did to Jisung and the two silently watched Jaemin scream in what could only be cusses. “Why is Mark like that?! Does he not care about you at all?”

“You know, the more you talk about Mark, the more I dislike him.” Renjun said and Donghyuck frowned. He didn’t want his best friends to hate his boyfriend. He loved Mark and his wanted his friends to love him too, but right now everything seemed so difficult.

He loved Mark, he truly did. Despite everything, he had his good points. Mark was a genius in music. Donghyuck was his muse, Mark had told him that every inspiration he had in his music was from observing the younger.

Mark was also a huge cuddler. He wouldn’t admit it, but every time finals would finish, he’d rush over to Donghyuck’s dorm room and engulf him in hugs and domestic activists. It was his way relieving stress.

And sometimes Mark would buy snacks and food over so they could have their date nights in his apartment. Those were Donghyuck’s favorite nights, sad to say it had been a while since they had those kind nights.

He can’t recall when everything had started to fall downhill. Perhaps Mark had grown tired of him, perhaps it’s their first official downslope in their relationship and it would only heal over time. But what Donghyuck felt now, no matter how we felt before, he can’t feel the same about Mark as he did before.

He thought perhaps one solution to their problem was distance. Mark lived way across campus and Donghyuck was still living at the school dorms at the time. But finding an apartment during this generation was tricky. There were some they liked, however was out of what they could afford. The ones they could afford were by no means a good living condition.

Until they found the perfect one. It was not small, but not entirely spacious either. It had a great view of the Han River, and it was a good distance from their school, along with Mark’s internship building and Donghyuck’s bar. It was perfect, and it was all theirs.

Donghyuck loved it when he came home to their apartment from work to see Mark asleep at the dining table with a plate of badly scrambled eggs wrapped neatly in plastic next to him. Donghyuck would smile fondly the scene and card his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, “Mark, babe, if you’re tired, go to bed,” Donghyuck said and Mark only hummed, gently pulling the younger down for a gentle peck on the lips.

Their life was filled with domestic bliss. Mark would come home to Donghyuck cooking dinner and Donghyuck would come home to see the couch pillows built into a fort for their movie nights. In the mornings, they woke up cuddling, and in the nights they slept in each other’s embrace.

“So do I flip the egg now?”

Donghyuck laughed, head falling down onto his boyfriend’s shoulder. “The more you ask, the quicker it’ll burn.” He said as he guided Mark with flipping the egg, earning a loud cheer from him when it successfully flipped. “See I knew you can do it.”

“That's because you think I can do anything.”

Donghyuck smiles into Mark’s eyes. “That’s because I know you can.”

Things were great; however, it didn’t last long.

Mark had left to Canada again for a month. In that time, the cycle repeated. Their conversations were short and never could find a joint time to video call each other. He was mad at Mark. He was mad at himself. But he threw those feelings away every time Mark did come back, Donghyuck was the first one to run through the airport and jump into his boyfriend’s arms. And then they would go back home together, catching up on what they missed and how they missed each other and how Donghyuck thought about how much he loved sleeping with Mark’s arms wrapped around him and how much he loved walking up to caress those cheekbones, and Mark would hold and hug him like it was his last breath.

“I bought this for you.” Mark said when they were lying in their bed. It was the middle of night, but Donghyuck could perfectly make out Mark’s face in the darkness. He pulled out a small box and opened it to reveal a silver necklace with a sun charm shining in the night. “I had it made a few months ago and I finally got to picked it up back in Canada.”

Donghyuck sat up to look at the charm and let Mark put it around his neck. The situation was quite funny because, “I bought something for you too.” He said and didn’t missed the amazement that flashed through Mark’s eyes. He knew Mark wasn’t as big as a fan of accessories as he was, but he had bought the older a thin bracelet with a moon charm in the center. Mark had always called him his sun, and likewise Mark was his moon. “It’s not too tight, is it?”

Mark shook his head. “No. it’s perfect. Thank you.” He said, examining the bracelet like it was a treasure to him. “Hyuck,” Mark called when the younger laid back down on the bed. Donghyuck hummed as response. “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck raised a brow. “For what?” He can see the uneasy expression on his boyfriend’s face.

“That I haven’t contacted you when I was away. I wanted to, but time zones are so difficult and I should’ve sent a text or something but I was just so busy. I’m sorry if you felt lonely.”

Donghyuck smiled and reached out to grab Mark’s hand. “It’s okay. What matters now is that you’re finally back. I was lonely, but I know you were too. I’m just happy you’re back.” He said and watched as Mark smiled. He leaned in for a kiss, and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

And when Donghyuck woke up, his heart relaxed when he saw Mark’s sleeping face. Things were perfect; however, it didn’t last long.

Moving in together wasn’t a solution to their problem. In fact, it might have made things even worse. They never considered how much of a toll it would take on the both of them.

They never considered the effects of actually _living together_. Things like how to schedule cleaning and laundry and work times and simple things like doing the dishes or taking out the trash. They hardly saw each other during their days, often moving around the apartment only knowing they lived together through items and placements of their things. Mark was a busy guy, but it felt like he was getting the longer end of the stick when Donghyuck put his all to keep their place as a place to actually live in.

They’ll fight and then they’ll make up and then they fight again and then make up again, it was a whole cycle of continuous toxicity that neither of them comes out the winner.

It all came full cycle three days ago when Donghyuck sat down with Mark in the middle of their living room floor and Donghyuck wasn’t trying his hardest not to show his tears as he spoke with the other.

“I don’t want to break up,” Donghyuck said, hands fumbling in discomfort. This was probably the hundredth time they’ve had this talk. “Mark, I love you and I still really want to be with you.” The words immediately made his eyes swell up with tears. “But it’s always the same with us. We do one thing right and then one thing wrong and it continues over and over. We can’t keep doing this.”

“I know...” Was Mark’s reply. He was gripping onto his knees quite strongly, as if he was trying to hold back his emotions. “I guess it’s a little hard because you know, I’ve never been in such a serious relationship like this.”

Donghyuck stayed silent. He didn’t believe that was a good excuse or reason for their current relationship status.

“Mark, I want to be with you, but I can’t do that if the both of us aren’t trying.” He had suggestion and ideas before. All he wanted was Mark to put a little more attention on him, to put more effort on him, things like pause from watching a video so they can talk through the phone, or good morning and night texts, and Donghyuck would give up rest to visit Mark at his studio late at night after work, or visit him after his instead of going home. A relationship was about give and take to make things work and make things stable, but lately neither of them have been doing that.

Donghyuck believed he wasn’t even asking for much. All the things he wanted was what a relationship came with in the first place. They went into this knowing what it would be like together and they need to find a way to solve this together.

“Do you even want to be with me?” That was the question Donghyuck had always been afraid to ask. He examined Mark’s wandering eyes. They were looking at everything but him. “Mark, I want to be with you. I want to date you, but if we can’t do that then we need to make a decision right now.” He paused for a second. “Do you want to break up?” Again, not answer. But the question did make Mark’s eyes shot up in surprise. He didn’t say anything, but Donghyuck already felt his answer. “You want to break up…” The words hit his heart like a bullet. He watched as Mark groaned in frustration.

“No, that’s not what I want.” Mark exasperated. “I don’t know,” He stood up from his spot and rubbed his temples violently; Donghyuck worried if it gave Mark a headache. “I don’t know! Everything is happening so fast right now, I can’t process anything.” He was stomping around the apartment and Donghyuck stood up to follow him.

“Mark, please. We need to do this. We need to talk it out.”

“ _Hyuck_ ,” Mark called, turning around to reveal his now red and tired eyes. “I can’t talk it out if I don’t get what’s _going_ _on_.” He said. “One day you’re mad, the next day you’re not, and then you are, and then you’re not, it’s confusing, _you’re_ confusing, _I’m_ confusing! I just-...I just can’t take this anymore. There’s you and then there’s my internship, and then work, and getting a contract from a music company back in Canada and-”

“Wait,” Donghyuck said, frozen in his spot. “What contract from Canada?”

There was a heavy silence that was too long. They stared at each other. How long has a been since either of them spoke? One minute, or was it one hour?

Mark rubbed a hand down his face with stress. “The interview from two months ago. I got contacted by them again and they’re thinking about signing a contract with me.” It took just as much courage for Mark to say as Donghyuck to listen.

“That means you’re leaving…” Donghyuck added. “Again?…for how many months?”

“I don’t know. Two months? Five? A year? I don’t know!” Mark sat back down, taking off his cap to brush through his hair. His face was scrunching and he was rubbing his forehead. It was the kind of habit he always did whenever he was mad and upset.

“When are you leaving?” Donghyuck asked.

There was a pause. “In five days.”

Donghyuck stood in the middle of the living room, rubbing his arm with his hand as he tried to calm down his thoughts. He wondered if he could go through another few months without Mark. Sure, he had gone through it the first couple of times, but those times didn’t make anything easier. He didn’t think he would go through another long distance relationship again. It just got more and more difficult each time Mark left.

“No, I don’t think I can do this.” Donghyuck’s voice was soft, as if he was just one teardrop away from breaking down. He looked at Mark, who had made eye contact with him at the words. “It was so hard the first time you left, and how you didn’t contact me for days. And even worse the second time when you just wanted to sleep than to speak with me. And then it was the same over and over…” He didn’t cry. Instead, he didn’t feel anything. “I can’t do this, not with you leaving again.”

Mark stood back up and walked over to hold Donghyuck’s shoulders, making the younger look at him. “Hyuck, I know I wasn’t good last time, but I promise this time I’ll contact you every day, I’ll call you, facetime, all that. Please, you said it yourself, we need to make this work.” Donghyuck shook his head.

“All this time, when I truly loved you, when I really wanted to be with you,” Donghyuck stared into Mark’s brown orbs. They were so gentle and so charming. Just like the first day they met at the rooftop. “I don’t feel that way anymore. I still care about you and I still love you, but it’s the not same as I felt for you before. I think I was lying to not just you, but to myself. Because I wanted us to work this out so much, I lost track on how I actually feel about you, about myself…”

Mark was silent, eyes wide as he slowly took his arms off Donghyuck’s shoulders. “Are we...are you done with me? Hyuck, please, I still want to be with you. We can make this work. Please, I don’t want end our relationship. I...I love you.”

It was the strange. Those three words were the words Donghyuck ever so desperately wanted to hear from Mark, but he didn’t feel anything from it. He didn’t know what he wanted. Did he really want to end things with Mark? A part of him told him to stop, but the other part told him to trust Mark one more time. All he needed to do was decide which side of his heart he wanted to listen to.

“I don’t want to break up.” Donghyuck finally said. He watched Mark’s expression lighten at his decision, but Donghyuck wasn’t done. “But I also don’t want to be with you at this moment.”

Mark blinked. “...what?” His voice was so broken and so sad.

“I think we need to take a break.” Donghyuck suggested. “This will help the both of us. We need time for ourselves, and think about what we really want because frankly, I don’t think either of us know what we want right now. You going to Canada will help distance us. I…” Donghyuck tried to swallow the lump stuck in his throat. “I just don’t want to see you right now.”

Mark’s shoulders slumped. He stared down at the floor and tired his best to put up a strong front by clearing his throat. “Uh, yeah. Yeah that sounds good. That sounds fair.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and tried to avoid Donghyuck’s eyes like an awkward teenager. “I’ll...I’ll pack my stuff and leave by tomorrow. Pretty sure Johnny has his empty guest room still so I’ll stay with him until I leave for Canada.” He stopped speaking and looked at Donghyuck, hoping, just hoping that he would say anything.

But Donghyuck didn’t. He stayed silent, just staring at the floor. He didn’t feel anything. He wanted to cry, but how could he cry for someone he believed he no longer had feelings for? But even so, he had no conscience to help guide him in the moment. Mark left for the night just like that and it became a restless night for the both of them.

☼☼☼

Mark stood in the middle of the room with his two backpacks full with his possessions. Donghyuck walked into their used to be shared room and leaned against the door frame, examining the room that used to be filled with Mark’s books and stuff animals and music equipment, now all gone from their spots. He was leaving for Canada in four hours.

“I didn’t realize your things took so much room.” Donghyuck joked and Mark gave a small chuckle in response.

“Yeah, me either. The room actually looks much bigger now.” The older said. He walked towards the closet to check for any of his things one last time and he stopped when he noticed the beige guitar that Donghyuck had bought him on their second anniversary, sitting at the very corner collecting nothing but dust these past few years. “Wow I didn’t think this was still here.”

“What is?” Donghyuck asked, following after the older. Mark pulled out the instrument, blowing the dust off that flew into the air. Donghyuck froze. “Oh. That.”

Mark gave a small smile, tracing his finger against the smooth surface of the guitar. “I still remember how happy I was when you got this for me. I’m pretty sure at that time I kept eyeing it in the music shop and was praying to god no one would buy it before me.” he said and Donghyuck smiled back, remembering the fond memory when after Mark’s first guitar broke, how excited he was when he opened the present. Though the wrapping paper did already give away its shape. “You saved a lot for it too.” Mark added. “It cost a fortune back then.”

“It was okay.” Donghyuck replied, caressing the guitar’s strings. It was a shame he had only seen Mark play it only a handful of times. “Hey,” Donghyuck said and Mark hummed in response. “Can you play a song?’’

“Right now?”

Donghyuck nodded. “It’s been forever since you last played guitar. Frankly I’m sick of your electronic music.” He said and Mark laughed.

“Okay.” They sat down on the bed and Mark cracked his knuckles. “I’m a little rusty so bear with me.” He said and Donghyuck only hummed. He wasn’t expecting much but when Mark played the very first strings as a warmup, he felt his heart also felt a tug. After a while of getting back used to the feeling, Mark turned to look at Donghyuck who had zoned out for a second. “What song should I play?”

Donghyuck pressed his lips into a line and pondered. He couldn’t think of a song at the moment. Lately, he hadn’t been feeling any kind of song to listen to. Perhaps it was the weather, it was summer after all and the weather was getting hotter and hotter. It was the perfect weather for the bright and poppy songs, but that wasn’t the type of mood that fit with this moment. He looked at Mark, who was occupied with playing with the strings and bobbing his head to a tuneless beat.

Mark reminded Donghyuck of a bittersweet season. Someone he felt like he used to know but now he didn't. Someone he needed to say farewell to and move on.

“Hey,” Donghyuck said and Mark stopped his head bobbing.

“Hm?”

Donghyuck gave a soft smile, staring down at the guitar. “Let’s play that song.” He said and Mark binked at first, his eyes full of confusion before softening to what Donghyuck was listening. Without another word, he started to play the familiar notes and they remember the lyrics to their song.

Donghyuck found himself singing along. He was surprised he even remembered the lyrics, but then again it was something he knew he will never forget. The song reminded Donghyuck the times when they were truly happy together. Like what everyone said, they were perfect for each other and they did truly loved each other. And because they did, it made this moment feel a lot easier to let go. The fact that they know how they felt about each other was already enough for them.

When the song ending, they turned to look at each other. Mark’s eyes were the brightest that Donghyuck had ever seen through the years they were together. They were full of potential, full of talent, and so full of love. And those eyes remained the same even when they were standing by the front door, facing each other with their final moments.

“Take care of yourself.” Mark said. “And tell the kids that I’ll miss them.”

Donghyuck chuckled. “I know, and I will.” He said. “You take care of yourself too in Canada. I won’t be there to make you food so try to learn some lessons from Johnny.” Silence fell between the two. Maybe some part of Donghyuck was thinking about just stopping everything and asking Mark to stay. But those thoughts went away as fast as they came, and both of them understood this was for the best.

“Um,” Mark cleared his throat. “So like, you know how like, we’re on like a break but like we still love each other? And like I know I’m like leaving in like, a few hours but I’m wondering like…” Mark bit his bottom lip and finally built up another courage to look at the boy he truly loved in front of him. “Can we have one last kiss?”

Donghyuck took in the words, staring at Mark’s so innocent eyes before smiling. “You say the word ‘like’ way too much, do you know that?” He asked and Mark’s smile was the last thing he took into his mind before leaning into press his lips against Mark’s soft ones. His hands went to caress those high cheekbones that he loved, and Mark placed his hands on Donghyuck’s waist.

They kissed and parted one last time before looking at each other. Mark was staring at Donghyuck with a question in his eyes, but a question that would not be answered at the moment. “Goodbye, Mark.” Donghyuck said, sliding his hand down from Mark’s cheekbones.

Mark smiled genuinely. “Goodbye, Donghyuck.” And just like that, Mark was gone.

There was silence and Donghyuck felt indifferent, but not upset, not empty. More like something that was supposed to happen was fulfilled. He walked back to his room, remembering everything of Mark’s that would used be there. True, there was some pain, but when Donghyuck sees the guitar lying his bed and the music sheets spread next to it, he knew, that everything was fine.

☼☽

A week passed since Mark left and Donghyuck was adjusting to the new chapter in his life. Days came and went like normal. He had started to become more like himself the past few days. The others had noticed the change, seeing Donghyuck in a brighter mood he had ever been. He had started singing more often than usual and he felt less tired during work. Things were going well.

Classes went on as usual and he had started to see more people, but it was nothing serious. Sometimes his dates would show up right at the end of Donghyuck’s class and they would take him out on an impromptu date right there and then. Others would randomly serenade him with the latest pop music. Donghyuck appreciated it all, really, but he didn’t want to go into something with someone he wasn’t serious about.

They were all so sweet and so nice, but they had nothing that Mark had. In the lack of words, Mark was more down to earth. Stupid sometimes, but had a quality that made Donghyuck feel like he was the only person in the world. The others were romantic, but perhaps he felt like that kind of puppy romance wouldn’t last long. He believed he would never find someone like Mark and he believed he probably wouldn’t love anyone as much as he had loved Mark.

Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he contacted the older. They haven’t kept in touch, but they know it was for the best. He wondered what they would say. Would they say they missed other? Would they say they still loved each other?

Those kind of thoughts would constantly roam through Donghyuck’s mind and sometimes those thoughts become too dark for his heart. But every time when he came home, he’d see the guitar propped up next to his bed, and the music sheets on his bedside drawer and he would play their song that only they knew.

Perhaps one day they’ll find a way back to each other if they are truly destined to, and perhaps they won’t. They both had gone through a lot, with each other and with themselves that maybe some things can’t be fixed. Though they did wish the best for each other, because what they had was something they truly cherished and will always be cherished.

Time can only tell. For now, it was their last summer’s goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, welcome to the introduction of wreckedshoes's nct unit fics, wreckedpetals!  
> This side of wreckedshoes will focus on nct while wreckedshoes will obviously remain the same with seventeen :)  
> anyway hope you enjoyed my first ever nct fics with markhyuck! it's a little angsty but I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and I'm glad it's with markhyuck
> 
> also, i've created a twitter account for wreckedshoes!  
> follow me here! [twitter](https://twitter.com/wreckedshoes)


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